The Chairman of Federal Reserve was awoken from his nap by his
personal assistant and several of the Governors of the Federal
Reserve. Uncertain of whether to be angry or sheepish about the
unexpected intrusion he simply wiped away the puddle of drool he
had left on the desk blotter.
Before he could speak he was told that Central Bank leaders from
Japan, Germany, France, Britain and the EU were on the phone. --And
that the Russians were on heightened military alert.
"That's for the President," The Chairman said of the Russians.
"He's locked himself in the lavatory on Air Force One."
"--Then the Vice President."
The Governors made unpleasant faces.
"What's going on?" The Chairman asked, trying to affect the gravitas
of his more prestigious predecessor.
A scrap of paper was placed in front of him. It was a print-out.
"Mr. Chairman, the Creative Derivative Arbitrage Fund has incurred
liabilities of no less than two trillion dollars, and perhaps as much as
eight trillion."
"Eight billion?" The Chairman asked.
"Trillion. Two to Eight TRILLION. Maybe more."
"I see..." He rose and wandered to the window. "Have they gone
insane?" He asked.
"It may have been done deliberately."
"Are they run by terrorists?"
"No. They were facing liquidation..."
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Channel49.net
From the Archives:
President Trubman recalls the end of the
war in the Pacific: "I was told by the
Secretary of War that it was expected that
I personally, as the leader of the
conquering nation, was to behead the
emperor and then diddle his wife. Well, I
was taken aback... I didn't mind chopping
the son-of-a-bitch's head off but diddling
his wife? --I'm a Christian and a married
man and couldn't do that. I don't know
which I feared most: my Lord or my wife.
So I called up General MacMarther and
asked if someone on his staff could diddle
the emperor's wife. Preferably someone not
white, like a Navaho, as there were laws
against miscegenation. General MacMarther
told me that his horse Buster would diddle
the emperor's wife. Well, it turned out to
be communist propaganda. We didn't have to
chop off the emperor's head. General
MacMarther shook the emperor's hand and
then made him tie his shoes and that was
the end of it. I wonder if his wife was
disappointed at all."
